One of my favorite geeky websites, The Mary Sue, posted an article on how geeks should approach dating their fellow geeks. I found myself nodding and saying “Yep, PREACH, yes, absolutely!” with each bullet point, so I figured I’d share my thoughts here.
1. Don’t judge a geek by their fandom. Seriously. The fandom does not make the geek. There’s always more to a person than how much they love Dr. Who or Star Wars.
2. If they don’t get it, don’t freak out. The Boyfriend thinks Harry Potter is “okay.” I don’t find Warhammer 40,000 books interesting. However, that hasn’t deterred us from being able to talk about those things with each other. It just means we have our own independent interests, and at the end of the day we understand each other’s geeking out regardless of subject matter. Just because we’re not into the same geeky things doesn’t mean we can’t still relate to each other or understand. (Some separation is always good!)
3. Share your passion. The Boyfriend and I try and make the geeky interests we share together a positive experience, and by sharing our thoughts on it we don’t turn it into a lethal trivia game show. We share news on The Avengers when we find out about it, and don’t quip about “I can’t believe you didn’t read that yet!” A side note: it’s always nice when your significant other wants to learn more about your particular interests, but don’t pressure them or overload them with information. Them taking an interest in what a d3 is used for doesn’t necessarily equal a burning desire to join in your weekly D&D session, and that’s okay. Share your passions, but don’t hold your significant other to it.
4. Invest in yourself. I’m more of a Penny than an Amy Farrah Fowler. I like to work out, dress cute, and wear makeup. It’s not because I’m vapid, it’s because I feel good about myself and I’m not afraid to show it. I love Amy Farrah Fowler, don’t get me wrong. I love that she, Penny, and Bernadette show how diverse geek girls can be, and that’s okay! Feeling confident and caring about your looks is NOT a crime, and those things don’t make someone any more or less of a geek. It’s never a bad thing to take pride in yourself!
5. Be open-minded. “In matters of compatibility, we can get very focused on finding someone with shared interests instead of someone with a compatible personality.” ‘Nuff said.